A-Z Challenge 2012
M is for Mad!
I'm a happy go lucky sort of chap, with a positive outlook and a "Just Do It" sort of attitude.
I've had a life time of experiences all ready, not saying I've been and done everything, but I have certainly seen life!
Having led the life that I have, I have seen things that would make you shudder and give you nightmares that would require a shrink to ease your mind so that you could sleep at night. All these things that I have seen could make you go mad.
But, it's the little things that wind me up, I find that I can easily overlook big things and not worry about them, but the little things see my blood start to boil.
So here is a list of the silly things that drive me mad.
1. Not picking up after your dog!
2. Pulling out a shopping trolley from the stack and finding rubbish in it.
3. Finding that you cant get into a parking space as the guy to the right cant park and has parked over his line.
4. Cyclists that think its safe to ride two abreast and who don't use cycle lanes!
5. People who let their dogs run loose.
6. Dirty cutlery in restaurants.
7. Treading in chewing gum - use a bloody bin!
8. Speeding in the New Forest - Its a 40mph limit for a very good reason!
9. Panic buying - just because it's a bank holiday doesn't mean you have to buy for a month!
10. Leaky one cup metal teapots that go everywhere when you pour them!
These are just one liners, now for some that need a little more explanation.
11. Politeness, or rather the lack of it, even a basic please and thank you would be good, but no, blank stares or worse still not even an acknowledgement!
12. Ever increasing fuel prices - £1.50 a litre for Diesel! Ive a 90 litre tank!
13. Strikers - Anyone who goes on strike, think your selves lucky you have a job, it's safe, you get to go home at the end of the day and see your family. If you don't like it then change jobs, but don't moan about it! I am of course referring to the tanker drivers who are after massive wage increases and moan about working in a dangerous environment. Well let me tell you bunch of moaning gits that our boys out in Afghanistan don't get to go home every night, and don't have the luxury of driving around on tarmac! No, they have IED's to contend with on half the money you are all ready earning! Now that's a dangerous job! Don't you dare say your working conditions are dangerous.
14. Cutting across our pitch! Now on site you rent what is known as a pitch, it is where you are free to set up camp. To us this is our home and garden, so it becomes bloody annoying when you walk right past our awning and peer in! Perhaps I should come to your house wander around your garden and look through your windows!
15. Being poured a cold pint of cider in a hot glass straight from the glass washer! Surely you must of realised when you picked the glass up it was warm? Would you serve ice-cream in a hot bowl?
16. Whilst on the subject of cider - who thought up the idea of serving it with bloody ice-cubes? Only a poofy marketing guru could come up with that, and for those of you who buy their Magners on draft with ice, you are being ripped off! Fill a pint glass with ice then top up with cider, yep your getting around 1/2 a pint of cider due to displacement and being charged for a full one!
17. Signs: Such as - "Caution This Coffee Cup Contains Hot Liquid" Well, no shit Sherlock! Or on a bottle of salad cream "Serving Suggestion" a picture of some lettuce with the salad cream poured over it. Oh and I thought salad cream went over my porridge! The clue is in it's name? Do we really have to dumb down that much?
18. What is the fascination with nut allergies? Ok, I appreciate that if you have this condition it can be serious, but then again if you did you wouldn't eat a bag of salted peanuts, but recently I picked up some fish and it said "may contain nuts" what? Its a frozen piece of cod! Did it somehow swallow a bloody hazel nut?
19. Age restrictions. Here in the UK it is illegal to smoke under the age of 18, but you can have sex at 16. You are legally entitled to vote at the age of 18 so deemed socially responsible but police guidelines (not law) says that you have to be 21 to buy spray paint!
20. Talking of laws, a new one in super markets is that all tobacco products must be covered up with shutters? As a none smoker I find this strange and have the urge to wander up to the counter and say, I want to buy a packet of cigarettes please, I don't know which brand as I've just taken smoking up, could I see what you have to offer please? Do they really think that covering over with a shutter will make a blind bit of difference!?
So there is an insight into my world of what makes me shudder with disbelief and gives me the urge to rattle peoples heads together!
Till later.............
A-Z Challenge 2012
L is for Loo
One of the frequent questions we are asked by those who have no clues at all about caravans is: Where do you go to the loo?
Usually I reply with, well, I take a shovel and find a quiet spot and dig deep!
The look on their faces are priceless!
We have a flushing chemical toilet on board, our pan swivels to get optimum foot placement. Important thing to have!
Ours holds I think around 15 litres of (using the technical term) black water or more commonly known as pee and shite!
This is then emptied out at a disposal point that all camp sites have.
This is the cassette that contains the black water, this slides out for easy transportation and is fully sealed so no mess.
Mind you it is always best to keep your mouth firmly shut whilst emptying it as you can have a bit of a splash back if your not careful! I guess your getting my drift and hope your not eating anything at this point.
Once emptied, a number of rinse outs with fresh water, then you add a couple of litres of water and a good dose of chemical additive which breaks everything down and is fragrant so no bad whiffs!
Slide it back in and your ready to do what you have to do!
Some folk may not like the idea of this, but I can honestly say that changing a babies nappy is ten times worse!
So there you have it, thats how we go to the loo!
A couple of jokes for you:
Young lad away camping with his Dad, says Dad I need a poo. Where do I go. As they were camped deep in the forest, his Dad says, son, this is the great outdoors, you can go anywhere you like! Ok his son says and off he trots. On his return his Dad says, son, where did you go then? His son replied, in your car!
A Gypsy girl on the eve of her wedding was getting a talk by her mother about the birds and the bees, her mother said to her, now remember, on your wedding night, your new husband will be wanting to be putting his favorite thing in the place where you pee. With a look of surprise the bride to be says, Mother! Why would he be wanting to put his tarmac rake into the sink!
So on that note
Till later......................
A-Z Challenge 2012
K is for Kitchen
The kitchen has always been the most important room in the house, a place to eat, drink and be merry with good company.
Our last house had a big kitchen, we had a large farmhouse pine kitchen table which could seat loads. We had a pine settle running along the back wall of the kitchen.
We spent all our time in the kitchen, rarely using the sitting room at all, neither of us have much time for the garbage that is shown on TV.
Many an evening was spent in that kitchen, either just the two of us with a bottle of red and fabulous home cooked food, or a rowdy evening with lots of laughter and good friends sharing many a happy hour!
One of the things that I was concerned about when we moved into the caravan was would we still be able to entertain?
The answer to that is simply yes we can, and do so on a regular basis.
Above is our kitchen and living area within the caravan. We have a full sized 4 ring gas hob, gas grill and gas oven. With the use of the CADAC we have cooked a full roast dinner for 7 people complete with Yorkshire puddings, stuffing, 6 vegetables, roast potatoes and roast parsnips!
These pictures were taken when we first bought the caravan.
Since we have been in our caravan, we often cook for many people who pass by and stay over for the weekend. This weekend we had the great company of Mr Gulliver and his young son Thomas. A few ciders were consumed along with hand made beef burgers by Mr G himself.
Good Friday we cooked for Kev and Just and later "M"s son Vinnie.
I reckon we cook on average at least once a week for friends or family, which is great. How many of you do that in your bricks and mortar houses?
So nothing has really changed other than the fact that we now live in the great outdoors, and with that often cook outside which means food tastes even better!
Our kitchen is still central to our way of life and as it is, it is bang smack in the middle of the caravan!
Till later...............
A-Z Challenge 2012
J is for Justification
Now I don't feel that I have to justify to anyone why we choose to live the way we do, however on numerous occasions I have had to which does upset me a wee bit!
We simply chose to live in a caravan because it worked out financially better for us. We are both in our mid 40's have both come from failed relationships with nothing to show for it.
We were renting a 3 bedroom house in the middle of the historic town of Shaftesbury in Dorset, but the cost of running the house was starting to cripple us.
How could we save for our own place whilst all our money was going to pay bills?
We both believe that life is for living, waiting till you retire to relax and do the things you want to do is total nonsense. You may never get there!
So we sold up, lock stock the f***ing lot and moved out! Best thing we ever did.
Mind you,some of our friends and family thought we were crazy! Why would you want to do that? Your going to be a gypsy! You will never survive like that. These were often heard.
Now that we have been full timing for 20 months some of them have changed their tunes and have come to realise that this wasn't such a daft idea after all!
But there is always one that has a major problem with our lifestyle. In fact she is totally embarrassed that we live like this! Only recently she has suggested that we move to a static caravan as it would only cost £150 per week to rent!!! This does not include any bills etc, so you can add on another £400 a month easily!
Why would we do that when we only spend a max of approx £400 per month to do what we do!! She just does not understand or get it at all.
Even to the point of suggesting that in a couple of years time the housing market might allow us to buy a house! OK, so where does the £40k deposit come from, and why the hell would I still be wanting to pay a mortgage when I'm 70! Live next door to folk who may be complete pains in the arse, and have to put up with the noise.
No, living like this suits me just fine thankyou!
We have a plan, to buy land, infact, several pieces of land, turn them into small 5 pitch sites, and live on them till we find a suitable piece of land where we can build our own eco-house. This way, we can build up a income from the sites for our retirement and have somewhere to live.
Mind you, the thought of the open road does appeal when time and finances allow!
So having to justify why we do this does get a little tiresome to say the least, especially when it is close family. But what can you do to those who refuse to listen and be a little bit more open minded?
Nothing, just let them get on with it. I must say when ever we go to their house it's always bloody freezing, not like that in our caravan, we can afford to crank the heating up! So we do have the last laugh all be it silently!
Till later............
A-Z Challenge 2012
I is for Ice
Living on the South Coast of England it is not known for it's freezing climate, so over the last couple of winters we have been surprised to have freezing temperatures of minus double figures!
How do we cope living in a caravan in these temperatures? Wrapped up in blankets? loads of layers? hot water bottles?
No, just crank up the heating and sit in shorts and t-shirts! Yep, anyone who is cold in their caravans or motorhomes whilst hooked up to the electric is simply doing something wrong!
Our first winter we did have a waste pipe that froze solid, but with a bowl of hot water, a lot of swearing and some salt this was soon overcome.
2010/2011 winter was cold and for a long period of time, all of December we were ice bound.
We have since sold the Fiat 500 as I no longer teach people to drive. So we bought a Mitusbishi Pajero 2.8 Long Wheel Base to help out our Landrover Freelander with the towing!
The taps on the site froze up, but at the time we were local to where "M" worked so we simply filled the aqua rolls up there on a daily basis.
This was my drive into work everyday last winter, without a 4x4 you would of not got far!
This winter was easy, no snow to speak of but with some cold snaps, but I must stress that we were not cold once!
Last year when winter approached we switched our duvet for our thick winter one. That lasted one night, and for the whole of the winter we kept the summer one on! It was simply too hot with it on!
So it really is a myth that caravans are damp and cold, we are living proof that this is not the case.
Now that spring has arrived, it's starting to warm up slowly. We have had a few sunny days when both "M" and I got sun burnt, but it's raining at the moment!
Till later........................
A-Z Challenge 2012
H is for Home
Home for us is a caravan! As you can see it's a long one at just over 7 metres in length. In here we have enough room for two adults and our little "China" dog!
We also have a full length awning that runs the entire length of the caravan which gives us loads of extra living space. We also have a smaller porch awning that we use when only staying in one place for a short period of time.
Above is with the porch awning and the large awning on and of course "China" dog who manages to get into most pictures!
Here we are set up with the sleeping pod attached to the left of the awning.
This has been our home since August 2010. We have successfully survived two winters so far, with the lowest recorded temperature of -11.5
Can we see changing our lifestyle soon? No, why should we. Our site fee's range from £10 to £14pn add a bottle of gas every 30 days at £24 and that's it!
Now work out what it actually costs to live in bricks and mortar and you will see a big difference!
So, home for us is a Lunar Lexon twin axle caravan and we love it!
Till later................
A-Z Challenge 2012
G is for Gas and Grandad
There are two main types of gas that can be used when out and about with your caravan.
The two are Butane and Propane. With out getting technical the Butane can freeze at around -2 degrees which is fine if you only use your caravan during the summer months.
However we use Propane, not sure of it's freezing point, but we have gone to -11.5 with no problems at all.
You can tell the difference between the two really easily as the Butane comes in a blue bottle and the Propane is in a red bottle.
Now, the other thing to remember is that you cannot swap the two bottles without changing the connector hoses and regulator on your caravan/motorhome.
We on average use one 6Kg bottle of gas every 30 days. These bottles cost us anything between £23.00 and £25.00
We changed to the Calor Light bottles, which when your always concerned about your nose weight of your caravan can save a bit as these bottles have plastic tops instead of metal.
You could buy bigger bottles, but campsite rules and regs state that you cannot have free standing bottles outside of your caravan. Safety first!
We use the gas mainly for cooking, either on our 4 ring gas hob, gas grill and gas oven. Or via our outdoor CADAC. Which we have documented well within this blog!
Our heating system is duel fuel, it can be run via the 240v electric supply or by flicking a switch can be run on gas. So no matter where we are we will always have warmth.
Not only that but our fridge can be run from three separate power sources, 240v, 12v or gas.
So even with no power we can still keep our ice frozen for our Gin and Tonic! How very British!
How many of you can do that in your bricks and mortar?
Now, one final type of gas which does require a mention, is of the Methane variety. Now letting rip in an enclosed space is neither big nor clever especially if you have had a heavy night on the cider and consumed large amounts of industrial strength curry!
Mind you, doing this whilst in bed first thing in the morning is a sure fire way of getting "M" up to put the kettle on to make a brew! There is always a plan!
Ive added this on even though it's now Easter Monday - In the early hours of this morning I became a Grandad for the first time!
Till later................
