Sunday, 12 December 2010

Guest Blogger - 007 H - Singapore Style!

Well, we have a real treat for you today, a very good friend of ours who is currently out in the far east, doing what ever 007's do has provided us with todays post.

So without further a do, I shall hand you over to 007 H!


As you are keeping me entertained with your blog I thought I would share my travels, in the short term at least.

Buoyed by the amazing amount of white stuff back in blighty I just had to share the humid 28C of Singapore. It’s the wet season here apparently and it does chuck it down quite a bit, obviously adding to the humid atmosphere. You can tell the temperature is not always easy to deal with by the odd air-conditioning unit strapped to whatever wall space is available. (See attached photo)

Life here is relativity laid back. Staying in a modest Best Western hotel which is just behind Boat Quay. The Quay is a great place for a few wets and something to eat. The choice of nosebag, as the UK, gets worse in proportion to consumption of Tiger (That’s the beer and not the stripy thing from Winnie the Pooh). One normally starts off the evening thinking something with a little chicken and steamed vegetables would be the healthy, sensible option. Though when knee deep in the aforementioned beverage I seem to, with monotonous regularity, end up with something containing a plethora of Chilies. Though it has to be said chilies here are many and varied, ranging from “that is quite a nice zing dancing across my tongue”, to “these will definitely be needing ice cubes in the toilet prior to any morning constitutional”.

Still can’t say I sit to happily with rows of tanks with fish, crabs and the like waiting to be selected and unceremoniously bashed about the gills and chopped up, though of course one does know it’s quite fresh. At least the stuff here is slightly more appealing than some of the things in China (Guangzhou in this case a week ago), where there are many things that look like Beaks, Trotters, Lips, Fins and Eyes. How was I to know in Taipei (yes, there after China), that Goose Feet was a delicacy. It certainly did not look appealing . . . . . Give me chickens feet any day! Which indecently you can make move by pulling the tendons. Doesn’t sound very appetising now I have written that at 09.37am after breakfast but I can assure you at the same time pm it’s most amusing.

As you would expect here an eclectic mix of locals, ex pats and tourists. Many spend hours in the shopping centres looking at merchandise that appears to be a tad exorbitant on the price front. Though last time I was here there was one bargain which caught the eye as I strolled past the Levi store. “give us your old jeans and we will give you $50 Singapore Dollars (Roughly £25 of our British Pond Newts) off the price”. True, there was a small commotion as I removed them in the shop entrance but that eventually quelled as it would appear I was going to keep my underwear on. So, being a man of habit I walked back to said store and the same offer was still running. Though my enthusiasm for new strides for £30 GBP was tempered by the fact they no longer carry 36” waist and above 501’s! “we don’t have a demand for them sir”, was the courteous reply, when I could actually tell he meant “we don’t cater for bloaters in this complex sir”.

It’s possible to get a feet massage here and the more traditional sort as well. Not really my cup of tea so to speak. Though was enticed into one particular establishment that looked reasonably respectable by an attractive young woman who offered to examine me and make me feel “really good”. Free beer is never to be turned down. Anyway I was sitting there while she started to give me the once over. She looked me straight in the eye and said “sir, you must stop masturbating”, I obviously enquired why? she said “because I am trying to examine you”.

Its Saturday here so will head off for a walk along the river and probably pop into Raffles Hotel (a wonderful colonial style building resplendent in bright white paint outside and dark wood panelling inside) for a cup of Earl Grey which will be sipped with the obligatory finger at a jaunty angle, just to show I knew the commonwealth when natives recognised the old baked bean and pith helmets were ‘the’ fashion accessory to have and I-Pods were something to ease the bowels, which actually listening to some of the music leaking from Skull Candy Headphones today they probably still do, so maybe life is still all good and well.


Por Kum Yung

Thankyou for that 007!

Not to be out done we thought that our aircon, all though not the same is of a reasonable standard to be included!

Taken at Bistro On The Beach - Southbourne! This afternoon!

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