Monday, 20 June 2011

So What Makes A Relationship A Success?

Speaking as a bloke who has behind him two previous failed marriages, I reckon Im well qualified in talking about all the things that can make a relationship fail!

However, being the eternal optimist I refuse to dwell in the past, what is done is done, you cant change the past. So the only way is forwards!

You need to have an excellent relationship with your other half if you are to live in a caravan as we do. But what makes it work?

These thoughts have come about as a dear friend of ours Jo runs a company called Dear Mrs Herbert she is a relationship guide and mentor who helps women get the most out of life. Pop along to her website by clicking the link to get a better idea of what she is all about!

So why does it work for us?

Firstly some background on us, me, well as Ive said two failed marriages, and then a string of meaningless relationship until the time I met "M" We met through an online dating site!

Sometimes you just connect with someone, like two pieces of a jigsaw, a perfect match. Well thats about what happened with us. Within a couple of weeks, "M" had moved in with me, 25 miles from where she was living and working at the time!

When we decided that living in the caravan full time was the way forward, plenty of people said, "being cooped up in a caravan" it will never work, "you need space". Well after 10 months we can honestly say that if you "need space" from your partner then maybe they are not the one for you?

We both do our own things occaisionaly, but 9 times out of 10 we do things as a couple.

"M" knows the things I dislike, such as clothes shopping and goes with friends or on her own, same as I know the things "M" dislikes so would never make her join me.

Im so much more tolerant these days, far more relaxed, (to a point) but sometimes I can get rather wound up over silly things!

Being with "M" is wonderful, we both know that if either of us are wrong we can say sorry, and be forgiven instantly. No grudges or snide comments. No dodgy looks or the silent treatment. In fact it is very rare indeed that either of us get cross with each other. I  dont think we have ever had a proper argument!

We are both out spoken, me in particular, but we never get on each others nerves, all though I do know I wind "M" up every now and again. I see her getting frustrated with me, and I just stop, 30 seconds later you wouldnt know that I had wound her up!

I think that is the key, just being able to be yourself, totally relaxed in each others company. I still get excited if Im at the caravan and "M" is due back to see her!

Being happy also helps, now that does sound obvious, but how many people are totally and honestly happy on all levels. If your not happy with work, or worry over bills then that will no doubt reflect on your relationships. As we have more or less everything sussed now, then what is there to be unhappy with? We both have jobs which we enjoy, we live without the stress of having to find hundreds of pounds a month to line others pockets. And we live out in the fresh air, with wonderful views, a much more healthier existence all round!

"M" never complains at anything that I do, which is amazing, especially when Im working or tapping away on the keyboard like I do, but we do take time out for us, which is also important.

So what is the secret? If I knew I wouldnt be here, but a multi millionaire somewhere hot! But its got to be a combination of everything that Ive mentioned and of course total devotion and love.

What ever we have it works for us, its taken us both along time to find it, but, now that we have it, its brilliant, and to be honest makes living in our caravan full time very easy indeed!

Of course "M"s take on all of this may be very different, but somehow I dont think so!

So dont forget pop along and take a peek at Dear Mrs Herbert (brilliant name). I once made myself look incredibly stupid at a party at her house once by asking her brother how long he had known her. (I didnt know it was her brother -  no one told me)! Im still trying to live that one down! Everyone dissolved into fits of laughter and muggins here couldnt work out why!

Well, till later...............


  1. I always have a smile on my face when I read your blog.
    I have to say it's lovely to read about a couple that are so happy, so often there is so much negativity about relationships.
    Thanks for making me smile!
    Michelle, Bristol x

  2. Thanks Michelle, its great to hear back from folk! Im very lucky to have found someone like "M" its taking along time to find someone who puts up with me!