Thursday, 1 September 2011

Time To Find A Proper Job!

As its been a time for reflection recently, we have decided that its time to start looking for a proper job. When I say proper what I really mean is regular. Ive no idea how hard or easy this will be, but first things first I need to write a C.V. This is something I haven't had to do for years, so I thought with the help of the blog to refresh my memory I would give you all an insight into what Ive done!

Right back when I was a young lad at school, a whole load of us used to work at a private school (Clayesmore School - Iwerne Minster) where we washed dishes, well, loaded them onto trays and wizzed them into a machine! It was a real laugh, water/food fights were not uncommon and the money was very good as well!

Cast your minds back to "Only Fools And Horses" remember when Del was cleaning the chandeliers in the stately home? That was Clayesmore School!

I then joined the Army as a boy soldier, I had my 16th birthday in the Army! July 4th 1983 is a day Ill never forget! That's the day I joined up. My birthday is the 18th July.

I did 7 years and got out in early April 1990. My first job when I left was working as a scaffolders mate, lugging poles and planks around. A bit like too much hard work for me!

So I then went and got a job in Friends Provident shuffling paper and in putting data, but at the same time I had applied to join Plessey Naval Systems as a junior wireman. I got the job and spent a couple of years working here. I travelled around the country spending time in Barrow in Furness, Rosyth and another naval base up from Glasgow. My job was to either build or repair cables/joints etc on Navy sonar equipment.

I worked on Mine hunters and on the Trident submarines, you wouldn't believe how big they are out of water!

It was whilst working in Portsmouth that I told to Prince Andrew to F*** Off. I didn't realise it was him, what happened was, I was working at an extreme angle, inside a large metal cabinet trying to modify a cable connector which had been wired up wrong, it was extremely hot and cramped with lots of sharp edges. If you have ever tried to solder a joint whilst lying on your back with a cable inches above your face, with little light and molten solder dripping on you then you will appreciate that being asked how long is it going to take every 5 mins is not going to get the job done quickly! I finally snapped when a rather posh sounding voice asked me if I would like to hurry up! I told him to F*** Off and the next "C U Next Tuesday" to interrupt me is going to get my soldering iron shoved up his arse!

It was only when my feet were kicked that I climb out from the cabinet ready to kill someone, this sailor who couldn't help but smile informed me that I could be heading for the Tower!

Nothing came of it thankfully, but from then on, I always made sure I could see who I was telling to F off!

I left there after a couple of years, as I always felt I got on with people (wonders how after reading above) and that I really wanted to break into sales.

Trouble was, with no experience all the companies that I applied for turned me down. However, I stumbled across a couple of Financial Services companies, which were willing to train me. So after doing a bit of homework, I joined Allied Dunbar as a financial consultant. Qualified to advise on pensions, investments, life insurance and investments!

It was a self employed commission only role. Well, I would soon see how good I was, as if it didn't work I would be hungry and I would loose my house!

It worked - I was there 2 years! But, I wanted a more stable life, especially as my daughter was due any minute!

Ive always had a passion for cars, and with this in mind thought that a career within the motor industry would be a good idea. So I managed to get a job with a company called Car Care Plan, they supply car warranties. To start with I looked after used car dealerships, then moved onto looking after franchised dealers of Nissan, Chrysler, Suzuki and Porsche.

It was here that a friend I worked with left to join a vehicle tracking company, it sounded so good that I said if they ever wanted someone for the South West get them to give me a call.

A couple of months later I got a call! I looked after the South West and did rather well for myself, eventually becoming their National Sales Manager. Good money, lovely car, great company to work for. There was also a real buzz in doing the job as well. Not only that but we had locating systems in our own vehicles and on a number of occasions helped the police to apprehend bad guys! Exciting but scary at times!

So why go somewhere else?

In a word "MONEY" Yep I jumped ship to work for a competitor after they almost doubled my salary and gave me such a deal I would of been foolish not to of gone. However, in going I upset alot of people, which was sad for me at the time, but you have to look after No 1.

Thing was, on moving I sold my soul to the devil, it was hard graft, yes I was being paid stupid amounts of money, but I was travelling extensively and working really silly hours.

This did have a rather drastic effect on my home life!

As a result of this change in circumstance I moved to Scotland, carried on with what I was doing but soon came to the conclusion that I was rather rapidly loosing the plot, which when I look back I did, and it was a complete breakdown! I required a different working environment.

So I set up a recruitment agency which dealt with the motor trade. All going well for the first few months. I was approached by a large chain of dealerships to recruit staff for a new dealership. So placed the adverts, which are not cheap and the dealership then gets bought out leaving me high and dry! Cheers. This put me under.

Back to the drawing board! So went to work for a small garage in Glasgow selling LPG systems to car owners, did that for around a year.

Then, through a contact of a contact Id met a while ago in South Wales ended up working for a friend of his debt collecting in Glasgow and surrounding area. Now debt collectors aren't particularly liked at the best of times, so you try being an Englishman in Glasgow collecting debts!

One place I used to go on a regular basis couldn't believe I had the nerve to walk into their establishment! As a result they did confide in me that they thought I was some sort of psycho as it wasn't for the faint hearted even if you were Glaswegian! I never had any problems with these guys at all! The East End of Glasgow is a pretty mad place though!

I once had tins of baked beans thrown at me from a high rise block of flats, I called up the police they didn't believe me as I told them it was Heinz beans being thrown at me. They said nobody can afford Heinz beans in those flats!

Had a guy come at me with a base ball bat whilst out in Paisley, lovely chap, not! Id left a note explaining Id called, walked back to my car, got in, started up, and just about to drive away when this guy leans over the windscreen and slaps my note on it! Out I jump and say, "guess your not going to pay then"? This is when I realise what he had in his left hand! - Good job the engine was running!!!!!!

My car was stoned, Ive had nuts and bolts thrown out of windows at me, and out in Greenock had a dog set on me! My car window was smashed twice as well!

I worked like this for 2 years, some of the regulars were ok, some not. On reflection I was probably off my trolley doing it, seemed like a good idea at the time! Money was also good!

But in the end, it did start to get to me, always looking over your shoulder is not a good way to carry on in life.  After one particular incident which I wont go into, I decided that time was up and time to move on.

I would also like to point out that these folk that owed money weren't the sort of people that a few letters and phone calls or even your normal run of the mill collector would visit. These were serious people owing serious amounts of money! So I wasn't taking from someone who was on bad times! I don't like ponces like that and would walk away from low level debt. I know what that's like from personal experience!

So I then became a freelance courier, and drove all over the UK delivering everything from pigeons to gun barrels - I kid you not!

Whilst being a courier I trained to become a driving instructor which is what I did for a good few years, I wont dwell on this as Ive written a whole post on it several months ago.

I then worked for a guy who sold colonial and militaria collectables, I ran the ebay side of things, I left when I stopped enjoying what I was doing.

I then started to write descriptions of Antiques for a couple of dealers, used ebay extensively to sell these items. I also do/did this for myself, and have done a number of markets/car boots as well. 

In the last couple of months Ive also started gardening, and currently have around 30 hours contract per month.

But, with ebay dying a death recently, its not enough. So the hunt is now on for something a little  more stable and regular.

So do I regret any of the jobs Ive done, no, not all, they have helped mould me into who I am, and has also opened my eyes wide to what is going on out there!

Due to the nature of some of the work Ive done I seemed to of picked up some strange to some but perfectly normal habits to me!

One of these came to light when out with my mate earlier in the year as we both do it. Even now without thinking its automatic. Both "M" and his Mrs both laughed about it. We both check exits/entrances where ever we are, ensuring we have a clear path for getting out of a place quickly, and never, ever, sit with your back to an entrance. Just so you can clock the comings and goings.

Its funny the things you do out of habit, not even realising you do them until someone else either mentions it or you see them doing it as well. We laughed about some of the things we still do when we caught up a while back.

At least I no longer sleep with one eye open!

Well, that's me!

So when people say I would be to scared of living in a caravan, you may see now why I just smile and think to myself, you have no idea what being scared is all about!

The hunt is now on, Ive no idea what I'm going to do, or in fact where or what it will be. I just know we need more regular money coming in, especially with winter approaching.

I think I'm going to find it hard working for someone else again, especially with all the things Ive done over the years, but first things first, today my C.V. will be completed.

Wish me luck.

Till later.............

P.S. If you know for a job, please let me know, have caravan, can travel!!


  1. Have you thought about caravan sales? With your enthusiasm for caravanning and your past sales experience I am sure you would be very successful with caravan sales.

  2. There's only one thing for it - with an interesting history like yours we think you should apply to MI5 to be the next James Bond!!

  3. Ever thought about becoming a Caravan Club site warden?

  4. Firstly, good luck with what ever you decide to do.

    I guess it is the "what to do" question that comes next.

    Glasgow debt collection, wow that must have been a real challenge.. not many would do it! Would that be an option down your way? The way I see it (I follow financial things generally) is that we are entering a very bad period where debt will become hard to service for a lot of people, the shift in gear of a housing correction is about to start and I guess this would be a booming industry...

    Caravan sales would seem valid but is it an all year thing?
    Site manager sounds good as well...maybe.

    I would guess it is not easy trying to work out what to do next for any man/woman, I know I thought about changing career but it did not seem as easy as I thought it would be!

    What about driving jobs? Delivery stuff, tesco, sainsbury etc they are always looking for reliable staff.

    I thought about doing my HGV for a grand as a change.

    Good luck

  5. Ocado etc - as long as you realize that it's 'just a job' but with your 'general nounce' I guess you wont be gotten down by the politics that are inevitable in any j.o.b. .I work as a Royal Mail driver with my own patch(Job Done? Job Done! I'm outta here :))so whilst not well-to-do I'm 'my own boss'