A-Z Challenge 2012
M is for Mad!
I'm a happy go lucky sort of chap, with a positive outlook and a "Just Do It" sort of attitude.
I've had a life time of experiences all ready, not saying I've been and done everything, but I have certainly seen life!
Having led the life that I have, I have seen things that would make you shudder and give you nightmares that would require a shrink to ease your mind so that you could sleep at night. All these things that I have seen could make you go mad.
But, it's the little things that wind me up, I find that I can easily overlook big things and not worry about them, but the little things see my blood start to boil.
So here is a list of the silly things that drive me mad.
1. Not picking up after your dog!
2. Pulling out a shopping trolley from the stack and finding rubbish in it.
3. Finding that you cant get into a parking space as the guy to the right cant park and has parked over his line.
4. Cyclists that think its safe to ride two abreast and who don't use cycle lanes!
5. People who let their dogs run loose.
6. Dirty cutlery in restaurants.
7. Treading in chewing gum - use a bloody bin!
8. Speeding in the New Forest - Its a 40mph limit for a very good reason!
9. Panic buying - just because it's a bank holiday doesn't mean you have to buy for a month!
10. Leaky one cup metal teapots that go everywhere when you pour them!
These are just one liners, now for some that need a little more explanation.
11. Politeness, or rather the lack of it, even a basic please and thank you would be good, but no, blank stares or worse still not even an acknowledgement!
12. Ever increasing fuel prices - £1.50 a litre for Diesel! Ive a 90 litre tank!
13. Strikers - Anyone who goes on strike, think your selves lucky you have a job, it's safe, you get to go home at the end of the day and see your family. If you don't like it then change jobs, but don't moan about it! I am of course referring to the tanker drivers who are after massive wage increases and moan about working in a dangerous environment. Well let me tell you bunch of moaning gits that our boys out in Afghanistan don't get to go home every night, and don't have the luxury of driving around on tarmac! No, they have IED's to contend with on half the money you are all ready earning! Now that's a dangerous job! Don't you dare say your working conditions are dangerous.
14. Cutting across our pitch! Now on site you rent what is known as a pitch, it is where you are free to set up camp. To us this is our home and garden, so it becomes bloody annoying when you walk right past our awning and peer in! Perhaps I should come to your house wander around your garden and look through your windows!
15. Being poured a cold pint of cider in a hot glass straight from the glass washer! Surely you must of realised when you picked the glass up it was warm? Would you serve ice-cream in a hot bowl?
16. Whilst on the subject of cider - who thought up the idea of serving it with bloody ice-cubes? Only a poofy marketing guru could come up with that, and for those of you who buy their Magners on draft with ice, you are being ripped off! Fill a pint glass with ice then top up with cider, yep your getting around 1/2 a pint of cider due to displacement and being charged for a full one!
17. Signs: Such as - "Caution This Coffee Cup Contains Hot Liquid" Well, no shit Sherlock! Or on a bottle of salad cream "Serving Suggestion" a picture of some lettuce with the salad cream poured over it. Oh and I thought salad cream went over my porridge! The clue is in it's name? Do we really have to dumb down that much?
18. What is the fascination with nut allergies? Ok, I appreciate that if you have this condition it can be serious, but then again if you did you wouldn't eat a bag of salted peanuts, but recently I picked up some fish and it said "may contain nuts" what? Its a frozen piece of cod! Did it somehow swallow a bloody hazel nut?
19. Age restrictions. Here in the UK it is illegal to smoke under the age of 18, but you can have sex at 16. You are legally entitled to vote at the age of 18 so deemed socially responsible but police guidelines (not law) says that you have to be 21 to buy spray paint!
20. Talking of laws, a new one in super markets is that all tobacco products must be covered up with shutters? As a none smoker I find this strange and have the urge to wander up to the counter and say, I want to buy a packet of cigarettes please, I don't know which brand as I've just taken smoking up, could I see what you have to offer please? Do they really think that covering over with a shutter will make a blind bit of difference!?
So there is an insight into my world of what makes me shudder with disbelief and gives me the urge to rattle peoples heads together!